tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7041802843110274347.post3577111761006739953..comments2023-11-06T19:32:54.152-05:00Comments on Cricket And Porcupine: Becoming PorcupineCrickethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07584174478393760131noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7041802843110274347.post-18974581485546200762010-01-20T08:25:32.973-05:002010-01-20T08:25:32.973-05:00I have to say, with children between the ages of 1...I have to say, with children between the ages of 14 and 19 I largely agree with ananda and hilary. we've always told our kids ignore things, tell a person to stop, move away, tell an adult, etc...the non-violent path. that said, we recognize they can't let themselves be punching bags either so in spite of the fact that our local school has a zero tolerance policy regarding fights (meaning even those defending themselves get punished) if someone else gets physical and they can't get away we expect our kids to use the necessary force to effectively defend themselves or their siblings...though no more than that and no later retribution.limehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17259558876349307173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7041802843110274347.post-74352913481655792392010-01-19T14:50:48.777-05:002010-01-19T14:50:48.777-05:00My older son was very much as you described yourse...My older son was very much as you described yourself. He believed what we taught him about turning the other cheek and all that goes along with a non-violent attitude. In middle school he got picked on by one particular kid. Teachers saw but told him to just do his thing elsewhere. Move from the source. He did. He was followed. Repeatedly. Finally he lashed out to protect himself. This otherwise model student - one who had won citizenship awards - my boy was suspended for a few days, lost out on a long-awaited school trip and had a mark against his otherwise pristine record. He felt bad about all of that, but his pride remained intact. He has a history of fighting for what he believes is right - my military boy. And for what it's worth, aside from the irony, I didn't allow my kidlets to watch violent shows either.Hilaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12787493532006658679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7041802843110274347.post-12862306652999639332010-01-19T14:29:23.136-05:002010-01-19T14:29:23.136-05:00Cricket-- I work in a school. The subject of bully...Cricket-- I work in a school. The subject of bullys did not come up until any of my kids were in high school. This is what I told them... You will never get in trouble with me for protecting yourself or a family member. However, you do this with the understanding that you accept the consequences of your actions. Then we went over what those would be according to the school policy including that arrest was possible.<br />I unfortunately believe the same as you... while I want very much to have things go the way adults would like to see them happen, in realitiy those things do not work. I also feel its unfair to trade your own self respect to make things easier for the bully. It was an ugly choice to make, but you made the right one.Ananda girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09578471199205376974noreply@blogger.com