Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A Challenge

I have a four year old son, Charlie. He's a natural comedian. Of course, he still needs to work on some of the finer points of his delivery. For example, take this thigh-slapper:

Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Well, he tries. His original material needs some work, though. His latest thing is to set up a joke and see if you can provide the punch-line. I'm not very good at this. I have a sense of humor, of course, but I don't think of myself as funny.

Ever notice that when we give rich folks a tax cut they create lots of new jobs... CHINA!

See? Not funny. Anyway, since many of you dear readers are far more gifted with this (Sul? Shimp? Lime? I'm looking in your direction) I thought you might help my little man out and complete his last effort. Your answer doesn't have to be suitable for a preschool audience, just funny. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, complete the following:

What did the Slinky say to the grilled cheese?

My answer: Don't worry, I'll spring for dinner. See? Not funny. 100 completely useless bonus points for the best answer. 25 useless bonus points just for participating. You know you have a better answer than mine. Let's hear it.

Respectfully Yours,



Suldog said...

Via many years experience with nieces and nephews, I've found that the easiest way to make a child laugh is to make a farting noise. If you say, "What did the slinky say to the grilled cheese?" and, when Charlie says, "What?", you make a big blatting fart sound, I bet he finds it to be wit on par with anything Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde might have said.

Having said that, let's try something more verbal.

"How do you get down stairs like that?"

No, that's not very good. Hey! Here's a knock-knock joke my niece, Alyssa, once told.

(You have to know that her sister's name is Caitlyn.)

Alyssa: Knock-Knock!

Me: Who's there?

Alyssa: Caitlyn

Me: Caitlyn who?

Alyssa: You don't even know Caitlyn?

Back to the slinky and the sandwich, how about this...

"You look good enough to eat!"

And then make a big fart sound.

Sorry. Best I can come up with today.

Andy said...

Cricket, your answer is going to be hard to beat.

As the father of four sons, aged 29, 27, 20, and almost 14...and not a very funny guy myself...I've found that Suldog's plan works pretty well.

Actually, as a young father, I learned how to swallow a large volume of air, and expel a REALLY LOUD belch.

Boys love that.

All I can come up with is...hmmmm...well, I can't come up with anything.

So, I'll take my 25 useless bonus participation points, and be happy with it...

Hilary said...

"Stay away from me. I only make that slinkety sound because I'm lactose intolerant."

You'd have to know the old Slinky commercial song, I suppose...

I'm good with 25 points. :)

Ananda girl said...

I can think of only one thing... You're hot!

Andy said...

Heh! Amanda might have bested you, Cricket!

Just sayin'...

lime said...

gosh, i gotta say your answer is funny. there's also a great deal of truth to suldog's advice.

my answer? hhmm....ummm...gosh i'm on the spot here now. (makes a big blatting fart noise to distract from her inability to generate a snappy response)

i remember when my oldest was about that age. she came up and asked if i wanted to hear a dirty joke. i said sure simply because i wanted to know what exactly she meant by "dirty joke." she grinned and proclaimed, "a pig fell in the mud!" yeah, that was the height of hilarity to her.

Jeanne Estridge said...

"Why is it that I every time I get wound up, you get toasted?"

(Your answer is looking better all the time, isn't it?)

Land of shimp said...

Oh lord, and I'm decidedly unfunny today. I do like your answer, by the way, and I think it's perfect for the budding four-year-old comedian.

As for an answer from me, I'm dreadful at puns of any kind.

What did the Slinky say to the Grilled Cheese Sandwich?

"Bit freaky that I can speak, isn't it? That's how you get them not to eat you, you know."

Or, "I told you not to play with the frying pan, but would you listen? No. Now you're toast."

Or, "Psssst. When the kid comes back, tell him you're made with Muenster, it's your only chance, bro!"

Or, "If you could go downstairs, this wouldn't have happened to you."

Or, "The Surgeon General Hates you."

You see, I'm really quite bad at this. I generally only do non-fiction humor. Now if I can get a grilled cheese to talk, perhaps I can come up with a ripping good line. If I had a Slinky, I'd at least stand a chance.

Admittedly, if I was sitting around with a grilled cheese and a Slinky chances are I'd wonder exactly how, and why, I'd gotten high because...seriously, a grown person with a Slinky and a Grilled Cheese, but no child in sight, has been indulging in something.

Sandraa said...

Oh, yeah? Well, your life-span may not be anything to shout about, but at least you're taken seriously!