Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Lost In Translation





I admit it. I don't have a friendly face. Sure, I ham it up sometimes and play the misanthrope card. But really, I don't go out of my way to cause my fellow man any grief. I'm just not the smiling kind.

I think some of it comes from having bad teeth. For a long time they were not so wonderful and often hurt. That doesn't leave you feeling too smiley. They're mostly fixed now, but old habits die hard.

Even my wife, who you might think would be used to it by now, routinely asks me "what's wrong?" Nothing, dear. Just my face. Really, it's just my natural, neutral expression. I've tried to look a little more sunny, but it felt stupid, and probably looked stupid too. Maybe I should get a t-shirt made: I don't hate the world. It just looks that way.

The market where I shop is primarily Hispanic: staff and clientele. The cashiers' English is usually atrocious, but what does that matter? They get the job done and, after all, I'm not there to have a deep philosophical debate. We understand each other enough to conduct our business.

Usually.

I don't mind waiting in line too much, if I'm by myself and not in a hurry. I let my mind roam where it will, or even shut down for a while. Some days, if you looked into my eyes, you'd probably see a test-pattern. We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.

On the day in question, I was roused from my reverie by a burst of rapid-fire Spanglish. Huh? Wha? I struggled to get my bearings. Yes, the cashier was talking to me. He was concerned. What had just happened? What did I miss?

A produce clerk who had been waiting to go on break joined in. Two simultaneous streams of Spanglish now. I felt an urge to hold both sides of my brain together physically. They were both apologizing. Okaaaay? A few key words stood out. Aha! They're apologizing because they think I'm mad that the clerk wants to cut into the line to buy food for his break.

No, go ahead. No problem.

It was all clear now. I tried not to laugh until I was out. I guess I had been staring at that produce clerk. Sort of. Evidently, my expression didn't translate well. They thought I was angry about the line. Here's what I was actually thinking:

Oooh, that guy has a papaya...
It's a nice ripe one, too...
I didn't see any papayas over in produce...
I haven't had a papaya in a long time...
Maybe I should run back and get one...
Or should I go through the line again...
I wonder if...

Then the Spanglish started. Well, these things happen. Maybe I should look into getting that t-shirt printed up, in English and Spanish, of course. Sometimes things get lost in translation.


Respectfully Yours,


Cricket


7 comments:

Land of shimp said...

Well, I smile almost all the time, and as a result am frequently spoken to, at length, by strangers :-) I don't mind, sometimes they are quite interesting.

Hehe, perhaps we're polar opposites, Cricket. You were sent forth on the Earth to appear pensive and surly, I to go forth and appear sunny and easy-going.

Not the full truth of either of us, is it? Books. Covers. Judging :-)

I've heard something about that in the past. But I'm often staring off into space, thinking of all manner of things, some sunny, others not.

Then I went and got myself a dog who looks like a Muppet Come to Life. We're the "seems silly family" as my son is a perpetual smiler too.

Oh! This reminds me of something over on The Onion. It's a T-shirt of an absolutely adorable little kitten, all big-eyed, wondering expression. Ball of helpless fuzz the size of the average bagel.

The caption reads: Kitten Thinks of Murder All Day.

Ananda girl said...

Ha. Funny story. Like Land of shimp , I am a smiler... even if depressed out of my gourd. If I am not smiling, then it is a real tip off that something bad has occured.

Kind of reminds me of that Billy Joel song "The Stranger" where he talks about the masks we all wear.

Brian Miller said...

i smile all the time...and yes it can get you into trouble.. i like the tshirt idea. smiles.

thanks for the nice comment on my potw post...

Suldog said...

MY WIFE often feels people are judging her expression rather than her intent. She does not have a ready smile, and people often mistake her natural face for either pissed off or sad.

I used to get the same sort of reactions when I was younger (maybe I still do, but people just aren't confronting me as much?) so I understood her dilemma and I think that was one of the early reasons we got along so well.

As with you - and as you know - teeth were a major culprit. Since having them done (in) I'm much more likely to smile wide.

christopher said...

Sounds like you can make life very interesting in your travels...and funny too.

lime said...

ya know, papayas distract me terribly too. i love them. they are one of my favorites even though if i eat too much of it i have bad after effects. but still, papayas are awesome. i wonder if my local place has nay right now and if they are ripe and if they are on sale.

oh sorry, no, i wasn't fantacizing about hugh jackman. that's my default "i love papaya" look. otherwise the world's assessment of me seems split. some people can read me like a book, others find me inscrutable.

Hilary said...

I'm told that I'm an open book. No fair that I can't just privately think about papayas when I want to. Funny story. You made me smile.

I'm just getting back into catch-up mode after a couple of weeks away. I'm doing some blog reading and some photo sifting and I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever get back into the swing of things. Speaking of photos, I took one with you in mind. I'll send it via email shortly.