Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Rubber Gorilla

I once voted for a rubber gorilla. In 2004. Not the gorilla pictured. The one I voted for was smiling.

And red.

Here's how it happened: I had just moved. A mayoral election was on. There were three candidates: a Democrat, a Republican, and a rubber gorilla. Well, the gorilla wasn't running exactly. My neighbor was running as an independent. The gorilla was in his back yard, overlooking a major road. Hung on the fence was a sign reading: "You'll go ape over my ideas!"

Now my neighbor was way behind in the polls. He really didn't have a chance. Even so, I like third party candidates. We need more of them. Fourth and fifth party candidates too. The more, the merrier. The two-party "system" is part of the problem. If we had more parties, perhaps people would actually have to work together, build coalitions, find common ground.

But I digress.

Having just moved here, I really didn't know much about the state of the city. I liked it enough to move here, but I really had no grip yet on local politics. From what I could gather, the election was standard fare.

Except for the rubber gorilla.

So the gorilla... I mean, my neighbor, got my vote that year. He didn't win. Not even close. Well, that's what I figured. No harm done. Maybe that was a good thing. A year or two later, he was arrested in a fairly big mob bust. I don't recall what came of that.

Even so, from a practical point of view, what does that matter? When you get right down to it, having the mayor live on my street would have had some real benefits. If I had a problem, I could just walk over and knock. I bet the plowing would have been a little better. Maybe the street sweepers would have come around more often. Maybe the potholes would get filled quicker. Maybe the police would have kept a closer eye on....

Oh, wait. Never mind that part. I guess they did.

But, as I said, no harm done. And I can forever say I voted for a rubber gorilla. Now that's worth something. Who says politics always have to be serious? Not me. I voted for an inflatable rubber gorilla.

With all the airbags in politics, one more couldn't hurt.

Respectfully Yours,



Anonymous said...

I guess living near to a politician would definitely have its advantages! We could do with that here; this place is going to dogs.

CJ xx

Hilary said...

Funny story, Cricket. With all those potential benefits, it would have been the gorilla your dreams. ;)

Andy said...

Heh! With shame I'll admit that I've voted for bigger windbags...and probably a mobbed up guy, or two, to boot!

We do need more parties. Actually we have plenty of parties, just none with any influence. I am in total agreement that the two party system is a REAL problem.

BTW, I once lived next door to the County Sheriff. It was suh-weet!

Unknown said...

LOL Cricket, and I agree that we need more parties. It all comes down to who's running anyway, but at least with more parties we'd have more liars from which to choose.

CiCi said...

The last line is priceless.

Suldog said...

Well, you know how I feel about it. Agreement, 100%. And the more funny we can inject into the process, the better.

Nick said...

According to wiki: “If challenged by a younger or even by an outsider male” a gorilla “will scream, beat his chest, break branches, bare his teeth, then charge forward.”
Sounds to me like gorillas would fit right in to our political system, yes?

Ananda girl said...

As soon as that photo finished loading I began laughing out loud.

I have been known to write in "Goofy".
I figured that Goofy would do just as good a job or better, but then I have a bad attitude about politicians.

Great story!

Joanna Jenkins said...

What a hoot! That was great story telling.

lime said...

i think i will have to write in the rubber gorilla this nov. 2. there are no decent local candidates here anyway.

Bossy Betty said...

I have voted for several rubber gorillas and they have all won.

Friko said...

Ours just don't look like inflatable gorillas, they're not red either, but I bet if you stuck a needle in them, ours would deflate pretty quickly, with lots of rude noises.

Hey, that might be fun too.